187 | Jon Tyson on Skillful Manhood, Capturing First Moments & The Intentional Father
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Jon Tyson
Jon Tyson is a New York City based Pastor and Author. Originally from Adelaide Australia, Jon moved to the United States over two decades ago with a passion to seek and cultivate renewal in the Western Church. He is the author of multiple books including his latest book, The Intentional Father.
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Show Notes:
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4:29 - How the relationship with his kids has changed to building adult friendships with his kids.
5:21 - Weekly family meetings
7:33 - "Raising a son is real work, but we have to get this right, because if we don't teach our sons, the world will. If we don't teach our sons about women pornography will if we don't teach our sons about friendship, they'll live a life of loneliness. If we don't teach our sons about leadership, they'll be followers all their lives. Being a father is not about efficiency. It's about discipleship. Father is not about time management. It's about heart development."
9:37 - "A lot of good involved dads, but an intentional dad that goes that step further to consciously ask who is my kid? What at what time of history did they live in? What am I responsible to sort of give them that's going to tee them up for their future."
10:58 - Minimal manhood and skillful manhood
17:00 - Leaning into the "firsts" and making them intentional moments
17:22 - Quote from Jim Rowan - "Life is not measured by the length of our days, but by the intensity and frequency of beautiful moments ."
17:54 - The Power of Moments book19:35 - Books/articles he had his son read when he got his first job: Your Money Counts; Total Money Makeover. ESSAY: Why Work by Dorothy Sayers
24:05 - Exponential by Dave Ferguson
24:07 - “It's just the process of how to give away what you have and make sure it shows up in somebody else's life. It takes more time to do that. It takes a lot of time, but when you see the joy of somebody who owns something that's literally gone from your life into their life, they now have a deposit and this deposit can be given to somebody else's life. That, to me, is one of the greatest things you can experience as a dad.”
25:16 - “I think this is the key here, because so often our culture is built on charisma and charisma is like that person possesses the magical gifts that none of us have. And therefore, it produces celebrity culture and consumerism. But when you codify the gift and you can show somebody, here's what I'm doing that is working, you then impart it to them and it creates contributors in confidence rather than consumption.”
25:59 - Shop Class as Soul-craft
28:15 - "Men need a cause. A cause is bigger than a vision, more expansive than a strategy, and more long lasting than a season. It's larger than a fight." - From The Intentional Father
30:09 - On the power of a cause in men: “I basically want to infuse that a man has strength and that he should utilize it in a great fight. But the difference is it needs to be in the real world as opposed to just accomplishment. And it needs to be for the sake of others. It's never your strength. It's never to oppress others for self gratification. It is always to lift the oppressed for the sake of the other.”
30:52 - “And a part of it is to try and help young men realize, don't give you a vigor and your strength to wasted things because you have no idea how you could participate in God's great cause if you channel them for the sake of others.”
32:14 - Wisdom on relationships: “The circle of intimacy, the circle of impact in the circle of influence”
33:13 - Most important priorities in 2nd through 5th grade: (1)”maintaining the emotional bond and setting the family culture” (2) “understand the psychological development of what's happening in that age”
40:50 - “I just have a path of intentionality that sets up the odds in your favor. And again, you can't control your son's heart, but you can fight for it. And this is a plan to fight for your son's future. And I believe that when we do that, we activate the heart of God's divine favor comes through our way, the Holy Spirit, gets involved and we're not on our own. And without it, I think you're left to chance and you’re left to the world.”
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Jon Tyson