349 | Diving Deep Into Brotherhood, Finding Beauty in Your Mess, and the Foxhole Symphony Illustration (Steve Sargent)
Episode Description
What does it mean to go beyond shallow community and find real brotherhood? In this episode, Steve Sargent describes how God turned every part of his story—even the messiest parts—into a beautiful symphony. From overcoming addiction to learning to live authentically, Steve shares powerful wisdom for all dads, no matter your past.
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As a pure adrenaline junkie, facilitator, speaker, and entrepreneur, Steve Sargent spent most of his life chasing the next high, even in ministry roles. As such, God has shown him how to use this gift and calling to help people and organizations become the best version of themselves. Steve and his wife, Christina, have two children.
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· Avoid getting stuck in a shallow community; don't be afraid to get deep.
· Life stories without trauma and chaos are just as significant and victorious as stories with those elements.
· If you want an authentic relationship with your kids, you have to pull back the veil and share your story with them.
· Foxhole Symphony means that God is making something beautiful out of your mess—mud, bullets, and shrapnel included.
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Podcast Intro: [00:00:01] Being a great father takes a massive amount of courage. Instead of being an amazing leader and a decent dad, I want to be an amazing dad and a decent leader. The oldest dad in the world gave you this assignment, which means you must be ready for it. As a dad, I got on my knees and I fight for my kids. Let us be those dads who stop the generational pass down of trauma. I want encounters with God where He teaches me what to do with my kids. I know I'm going to be an awesome dad because I'm gonna give it my all.
Steve Sargent: [00:00:39] And with my daughter, I sat with my daughter and I told her. And her first response was so different. These were her first words, I can't believe Mom married you. And I was like, wow, that stings a little. But you know what, you're right. And I said to her, I said, you know why she married me? Because more than anybody else in the world, Mom saw who I really was beyond what I was doing, beyond my circumstances, deeper than that, she knew my heart and she saw Christ in me. And she knew that I was so much more than the way I was living.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:01:13] What's up, guys? Welcome back to DadAwesome. My name is Jeff Zaugg and today, episode 349, I have Steve Sargent join me. He goes by Sarge and he leads, co-leads, the Foxhole Symphony Podcast, that ministry. He has been married for 25 years to his college sweetheart, Christina. He's got two kids, Hannah is 22, Nick is 20. We're going to dive deep into his story right off the bat. But guys, I just want to remind you, stories are powerful testimony. When we go through tests, if shared and if brought like, man, God receives so much glory by sharing, this is where I was, this is where I am. Man, we need to be men who are willing to share our story. So you're going to love this. A shout out quick to Brian Bird. He introduced Steve and myself, Sarge and myself, and I'm so grateful that he did. Here's my conversation, episode 349, with Steve Sargent. Let's go back in time, what are some of the moments along the way that led you to what you're deeply passionate about today and where you're, have arranged your focus, your purpose, your resources today? Give us a little bit of the backstory.
Steve Sargent: [00:02:40] As a, as a young man got, got wrapped up and addicted to drugs at a very early age. As a teenager, was walking the streets contemplating suicide. And there was a street preacher on the corner, preaching to absolutely nobody. And some older, older kids, college age, young adults across the street mocking him. And I felt so bad for him. I walked up to him and he looked down at me and he said, if you die today, what's going to happen? Where, where are you going? And I just started weeping, and I'm thinking, how did he know? And so he prayed with me, gave me a little Gideon's New Testament Bible, and sent me on my way. And that was my first encounter with Jesus. And I'll fast forward about 4 to 5 years later because I clung to that, that little Bible and tried to kind of do it on my own, isolated. And I did my best, but it just didn't work. I didn't have community, I didn't have discipleship. It was, it was, it was just me and this, this, this little Gideon's New Testament. And so that led to 4 or 5 years later, where led to an overdose. I was left for dead by my friends, and I went to a 12 step meeting. I finally came to my uncle, who's in a 12 step program, brought me to my first 12 step meeting. And, and then I'm in a meeting and I met a guy named Tom. He went by Batman and he was a, an ex outlaw biker that had a Bible in front of him. And I had a polo shirt and khaki pants. And I'm looking at him and I'm looking at the Bible and I'm saying, Man, something's not right here. This doesn't make sense in my, in my, my youth and my, my, my immaturity and just not understanding. And the end of the meeting, he said, what do you know about it? I said, What? He said the Bible, you've been looking at it the whole meeting. And I told him about the man I met on the street corner and he hijacked me, brought me to the inner city to a house, and I thought, okay, this could be the end for me. I don't know what's going to happen. And I walked in and there were 20 guys that looked just like him. And I walked in and they said, What's your name? I said, Steve. And he said, Well, now you're Little Steve. And I said, Why? And he said, Because that's Big Steve.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:05:11] It was already claimed.
Steve Sargent: [00:05:12] And so that was it. And these guys loved on me. They showed me and modeled authentic community. They discipled me. They gave me a job. They said, Here, here's some work. Here are the stipulations. You're going to a 12 step meeting every day. You're coming to a Bible study every night, church twice on Sunday. And that was the beginning. That was the beginning when I, I got to understand what God intended in, with community and discipleship. And, and I've just been on fire for it and hungry for it ever since. So that, that's really the the story that I want to share with you.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:05:51] Wow. I think of the power of these guys deciding to be welcoming. Let's bring somebody else into our crew versus settling with, we have our friends. We're good to go. And the stories, I mean, your story changing, but the amount of other men because I know, I know more of your story. You know, it's funny, even in the intro like I've been calling you Sarge and you mentioned Steve, so you go by both. Steve Sargent, we're calling you Sarge today in the conversation. It's like the amount of stories that you've had the opportunity to be a spark, be a part of a series of nudges in someone's life because of your commitment to brotherhood, informaing, and offering to be there in the highs and the lows. So that's one piece that I know has informed your like wanting to help create this for other, for other men. What, what are some of the other factors upstream that have led to that being a deep passion today, brotherhood and guys having a foxhole?
Steve Sargent: [00:06:52] To be honest you know, it comes down to fatherhood. To be honest with you, I mean, you fast forward, a married, you know, five, six years, seven year, you know, and I've got I've got toddlers at home. And, you know, I'm trying to figure it out, right. And I'm doing the work thing and I'm trying to, you know, build my little kingdom for my family and then, like, how, how do I be the best husband and the best dad and kind of, you know, going to church on Sunday. But, you know, I don't know. Like, I need more, I need more than this. I need more support. I need somebody to show me what this looks like. And and got plugged in, you know, and I asked, I inquired. I went up to the front and said, Who do I talk to? How do I get plugged in? Who knows where there's men gathering and talking and, you know, getting into real life and that I could, I could be mentored. And they directed me, you know, to my buddy Mark and his doorstep. And he just happened to have a group of five guys meeting in his basement asking the same questions. You know, not that they had it all figured out, but asking the same questions. And and that led, you know, led me to experience that again and to be able to to see what it looks like to have true, authentic Christian community. Life on life relationships with other men. And so that was the next, you know, the next phase or stage. And then fast forward again another, you know, 5 to 10 years. And I was looking for more, more depth. You know, let's, let's go deeper. Let's go even deeper. And got introduced to, to a brother who introduced me to another brother who happened to experience this ministry out in Colorado called Mark Men for Christ. And he said, hey, you want to come on this intensive weekend? And I'm like, Yeah. And he was like, you do? Because everybody else says, I don't know, right. And so and I went on that weekend and it was, gosh, almost 15 years ago. And and I've been going on those weekends ever since. And that ministry, that changed my life. God changed my life through that ministry and the tools that they use have just became part of, of how I live and how I talk and how I operate and being able to do life with other men and disciple them and be decided by them. So that's been sort of the journey.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:09:17] This is, this stuff is contagious, Sarge, like it's contagious. Hearing you talk right now, but also just hearing the other conversations I've listened to in your, your podcast, the Foxhole Symphony Podcast. Which we'll, we'll talk more about it. Like it's contagious. Once a man has experienced the life changing, deeper levels of brotherhood, realness, authenticity, mission, purpose, freedom. When that stuff is experienced, when you have stories of I was there baptizing my son and daughter and this other brother, it can't help but be changed because him and his son were there in the room. When you go to those events and you say yes to the crazy fly to an event of a ministry you didn't know anything about and you just said yes. You're telling others about it. And the interesting thing is it's contagious Brotherhood, deeper friendship is contagious, but it actually doesn't spread very fast because there's not that many of us who have gone to the deeper levels to invite. It just feels like there's a lot of people stuck at the shallow and they think that's it. And I think...
Steve Sargent: [00:10:23] Yes.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:10:23] I've got a bunch of friends that I can text, so I'm good. And I'd love for you to speak on that topic for a moment of of the shallow and settling there and not having any awareness that there's, there's a whole lot more.
Steve Sargent: [00:10:38] Brother, I don't even know what to say about that other than, there is so much more. And, you know, I don't know whether or not I even knew that there was so much more. I just believe that there had to be, because for me, there was just this, this discontent and the stirring and this like I again, I my family would say I'm a deep person. I'm intense. I'm, I'm a motive, right. So like, I can't speak for those that aren't that that just would rather be be steady. And there's a lot to be said for being steady, as opposed to, you know, erratic like I am. But I you know, I came down to Florida and I'm like, I jumped into this men's group expecting it to be what I had in New Jersey. And I looked around at exactly what you just described. And a guy so graciously and warmly split his cell phone number across the table to, you know, text me and I'm like, you know, thanks, thank you. But that was at the end of a meeting where 35 men spent an hour and a half giving advice to one another on the topic of failure without sharing a single life experience. I didn't learn a single thing about any one of those 33 men. I couldn't even tell you anything other than some first names. Nothing about their lives, their family, their kids, their marriage. What's going on at work? Nothing. And I was so sad and discouraged. And, and I thought, Lord, I certainly hope You didn't send me down here to turn this around, because I don't know that I've got the patience for this. I'm just being honest. I don't know that I've got the patience for it. Like, I feel like I need it, and I don't, you know, and, but, boy, you know, when you start to peel back the layers and you experience vulnerability and intimacy and accountability and authenticity and these things where you could say to another man, you can look them in the eye, brother how's your heart? How's your heart today? How's your marriage? What's going on? How can I pray for you? And you get something back that's real or I can, I can look them in in the eye and I can share something so raw and outrageous that I would never share with anybody else. And I can do that because I know I'm not going to be judged, but I'm only going to receive Christ love back, nothing but grace. That's special and that's transformative.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:13:19] Yeah, people, men, dads want to live a good story. But if they're showing up at groups at church and not hearing, hearing advice given, but no story or if they are hearing posturing of highlight reel, the posturing of a bunch of highlight reels does nothing to inspire me to live a better story. It actually fuels discouragement. That's what it feels. Now we created something. I'm sure it's not anything new and inventive, but we call them the seven minute slice. And because of the sake of time, with different groups i've gathered with different groups of dads instead of going long form, which I treasure the campfire, give me an hour and a half. I want to hear. I mean, I'm just listening. I want to hear your story long form. I treasure that. But the realities of a lot of the gatherings that I lead and I've been a part of, the seven minute slices, we set a timer on our phone for seven minutes and the whole group leans in and says, We want to hear some of the peaks, some of the victory moments and some of the valley moments. Just give me some, share some of that. Make up your story. Just some of them. And it could be a just this chapter of the last three years. Some of the, some of the victories and valleys or it could be all back when you were in college or back when you're in junior high. But the treasure gift for that timer goes off, I'm crying, no matter who the guy is. Like no matter who the guy is or what the story was and how much of from a surface level, it feels like that guy played it safe in life. And it's just no, when people are willing to share the deeper, I feel like I love, I love this brother and it makes me want to share my peaks, my victories and valleys. So, so that exercise of just like, let's be real and there's as much to celebrate and learn from. The best stories have valleys. They do. All of them. And so I'd love for you to just, like, respond to that idea of story and treasuring people's story and why we need to create moments to get these stories shared and what the benefits are of doing that.
Steve Sargent: [00:15:26] My gosh, there's so much. You know, and you said it very, very well, right. Like you, when you ask somebody to hear their story or a seven minute slice and and they sort of, there's sort of this we've all experienced this, Right. Like, tell me your story. And there's sort of just like no depth or detail or, you know, and seven minutes goes by and you're like, I actually don't know anything about you. Like, tell me more, or we're going to let's go another another inch deeper. But but the power of story is so significant because it highlights, not it's not our highlight reel. It's God's highlight reel. And I honestly yes, certainly the valleys, you know, I learned a long time ago that to to value the story that doesn't have that trauma, but but is, is simply a a God victory of someone that grew up in a good Christian home and went to church and loved the Lord and grew in the Lord and never really experienced trauma or chaos. Never broke the law or did drugs. And, you know, and and I've heard a lot of guys say, you know, like there's not much to my story. Are you kidding me? Like, that's that victory story is so much more significant than a story like mine with trauma and mess and all of it's like, I mean, that is a miracle. It is a miracle that you came through your life and never, never went off the rails. Like what a God story that is. So whether it's that or it's the one of trauma and, you know, the prodigal son and redemption or whatever it is, wherever it is on that trajectory. As we get to know each other, what we've lived and we begin to understand each other, we begin to understand each other's temperaments. We begin to understand that our triggers, our woundedness, our giftedness, maybe the holiness that we fail to see in us. And I what God has done in and through us so that we can encourage one another, we can pray for one another, we can rely on one another. And more than that, more than any of all of that, we can glorify God in every one of those stories.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:17:55] Yes. Oh man. Sarge, I love that doubling down and your perspective on why, like like the story doesn't have to have this perfect low, high, low, high. Like, truly everyone's story is unique and God is working right in it in their gifts and sharing, it's the gifts. The gift is not a gift unless you share it. I'm interrupting myself to quick remind you guys that the DadAwesome Accelerator, the deadline to prayerfully apply is the end of September. So we're going to kick off here on October 10th and you need to apply here, right away, if you want to be one of the ten dads included. So the DadAwesome Accelerator takes nearly seven years of this ministry, 349 podcast conversations and counting all this wisdom gathered, the resource vault that is DadAwesome and it packages in a six week sprint. We say, Hey, join us for six weeks. We're going to walk through six core themes. Practical homework you're going to, this is not a learning based accelerator. This is a go do the things that we're talking about. Go do experiments. Go pray over your kids. Go interview your wife, we're, we're going to learn by doing over the course of six weeks. It's one hour a week together with the cohort, and then you've got about three hours of homework. If you guys want to learn about this experience and get the link to prayerfully apply email awesome@dadawesome.org. Send this email right away. Guys, I want you to be included in this. We've got only a couple more spots left, so send an email to awesome@dadawesome.org. All right, let's jump right back into my conversation, episode 349 with Sarge. I want to actually go to a couple of chapters of Dad Life and you to share learnings, could be, share some like misses of you missed it here or learned here or, man, like you loved and treasured and you got this part right. It could be any of the above, but start with my phase of my girls are ages three through ten, so kind of that single digits phase and then we'll do kind of high, junior, high school phases, a second round of of just gathering insights. And If we want to get to those recent, these last 2 to 4 years and what you've kind of mentioned earlier, the breakthrough.
Steve Sargent: [00:20:13] Sure. Okay. So 3 to 10, you know that is, that is man, they were some great years. You know, I, one thing I want to mention about fathering and parenting and my wife and I say this all the time coming up, even in the church, we would hear people say, you think it's hard now, just wait. I mean, the teenage years are going to be awful. And then you think that's bad? Just wait until they're young adults. You're going to want them out of the house as soon as possible. Like, that's a, it's just this, like, wet blanket. I'm like, and we always found that odd because, you know, there's challenges, but we have just relished parenting. Like, I always relish like, no, no, no, no. This is such a great phase, we don't want it to end and then it only gets better and then it gets better. And that's been our story. So I share with you in 3 to 10 and believe me, we screwed up plenty. I'll speak for myself. I screwed up plenty, especially in those early years, which is what led me to seek out other men who were further on than I because I was angry. I didn't, I didn't understand my woundedness. I didn't understand my identity in Christ. I was just wrestling through life and stressed out. And, you know, listen, that anger came out on my family more than it did anybody else, you know, And I work from home. And so, you know, during those years, my son was home, he wanted to play. My daughter was at school. My son wanted to play. I don't have time to play. I'm like, dad's working, you know. And that, that wounded my son, you know, even though there were healthy boundaries set to and I actually probably played with my son more than most dads do in a given day. But the fact that I was there all day and he saw me and I wasn't, I was working most of that day, it created challenges. And so those were some of the things that that that we dealt with during those years. You know, fast forward a little bit into the middle school and teenage years. You know, I remember sitting at the kitchen table listening to my daughter. And really listening and thinking to myself, I have absolutely no ability to deal with what she's talking about right now. And I literally looked at her and I said, I'm so sorry you're going through whatever it is you're going through. I can't understand it. I don't know what I can give you. And I looked at my wife and I just went, what do we do with this? Because I was never a teenage girl. And I don't, I don't, I don't understand what's happening. And my wife was like, oh yeah, this is normal. And I'm like, What? This isn't normal. This is like, she's imploding. No, no, no, this is normal, you know. So those were interesting years. And she's having a tough time in school and friends and, you know, all of that. And then there's dating. And, you know, I'm just going to say, I had a double standard for my kids dating, you know, and my daughter, there were, there were boundaries and rules and all kinds of things in place. And she's the older one. And then, you know, my son comes along, he wants and I'm like, yeah, man, go for it. You've got this. Very few, very few rules, you know, And they remind me all the time, you know, like my daughter, you know, and so all sorts of double standards with the boy and the girl. But, you know, we we sought counsel. We did our best. We prayed through it. My wife and I did our best to stay aligned. And I think that was a critical factor in whatever success we had as parenting, you know, children, we we were committed to that. We were committed to one another. No good cop, bad cop. We are, we're aligned. We're in this together. But what I'm most excited to share with you is what's happened more recently. And that is, you know, a couple of years ago and I shared a little bit about my story. And, you know, it was messy. I mean, I you know, my wife, I met my wife in college and, you know, I was a disaster. I was off and running and running and gunning, some would, some would say. And messed up and all wrapped up in all the wrong things. And ultimately that not only, you know, I was wrapped up in drugs and addiction, but led to prison. And, you know, on extensive time in, you know, behind bars. And, you know, I remember as I started to grow in my faith, it was so hard for me to get beyond the shame of that. And I thought this, this, it was my identity. How could I ever get beyond this? And, you know, thank God He put some gracious pastors in my path and people that just were like, yeah, that's just your story. Like, like you're forgiven and we love you. And, you know, and just I remember being so amazed by that and again, experiencing God's love and grace through that. But the thing that haunted me for years was how am I ever going to tell my kids this? If I want my kids to really know my story, to know their dad, how on earth am I ever going to share this and when? And so for years, I agonized over this and I prayed, God, would you make it clear when it's time to tell them my story? Because I just don't want them to see me as that guy that seems like another life. I mean, gosh it was, 30 years ago, you know. And I'm praying and praying and praying and praying for years and finally about two years ago, I read a book and I won't get into the book, although I will recommend it. Chris Bruno, Sage. The book is Sage by Chris Bruno.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:26:08] We love that book. We've interviewed him and we love that book.
Steve Sargent: [00:26:11] Okay. So Chris, a great, great guy, dear brother and man, that book changed, rocked my world. It changed my life. And that in conjunction with hearing from God in some other ways, I knew it was time. And I'm, it was at a time where I was praying for deeper intimacy with my kids. I want, I want a deeper relationship with my kids and my son and I, we're doing this a little bit, bumping heads. And he was going off to college. And I'm, I'm laying into him about about college and and the partying and what goes on. And you can't do this and know, know this and know that and laying down the law and and he's like shocked. He's like, where's this coming from? Well, it's coming from my woundedness, my story, right. But he didn't know that. He didn't have the context. And God was like, it's time. I'm like, man, and so I made a decision. I'm going to share my story with my kids. And I got with my son in the car and I said, son, it's important to me that you understand some of where this has been coming from. And I apologized for the umpteenth time, which is another thing I want to highlight, that throughout my kid's entire childhood, I apologized over and over and over and over and over again and modeled that for them. It's one of the greatest things I ever did. And my son still thought I was a superhero. And like, he had to, he had to live up to who dad is and the success of dad and thinking, man, he doesn't know the half of it. And so when I shared with him what happened, I shared with him the whole story and meeting mom and, and drugs and addiction and prison and all of this. And he looked at me was like, and he said, wow. I have so many questions and I say, Man, I'm an open book. Nick, tell me, ask me whatever you want to ask me, I will tell you. But what happened, what God did through that is He healed my son from this burden that he took on as having to be as good as dad. He removed that burden. Like you don't, you don't have to be that, you just be you. Be you in Christ. And I've got a pass for you. And, and it also gave him the context for why I was so agonized over him going to college and where he was going to go and who he was going to connect with, and fraternities and drugs and booze and all of that. And it made sense all of a sudden. And that developed intimacy and newfound trust. And with my daughter, I sat with my daughter and I told her. And her first response was so different. She said to me, these are, these are her first words, I can't believe Mom married you. And I was like, oh wow, that stings a little. But you know what? You're right. And I sit there, I said, You know why she married me? Because more than anybody else in the world, mom saw who I really was beyond what I was doing, beyond my circumstances, deep within that, she knew my heart and she saw Christ in me. And she knew that I was so much more than the way I was living. And maybe she shouldn't have, but thank God she did. And, and so that's been a beautiful thing. It's been a beautiful story. And I said, you know, you should ask mom about that. Ask mom about that. And she did. So that's been our journey. And it's, it's wild and it's it's beautiful. And God's fingerprints are all over it in spite of our sin and, you know, mistakes along the way.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:29:49] Sarge, thank you. Thank you for inviting us into that part of your story. And I, my heart, like I just felt a response of there's, there's really a fragmented story that your son was living, not knowing the full story that shaped who you are, has shaped who you are. The level of grace you've experienced and forgiveness and like, but also the things that carry forward even after forgiveness is there. You carry knowing the the low, the lows of the low. Like, you know, and remember, so you don't want that to be repeated for your son. But the the wholeness like we want, you want as dad's to live wholeheartedly, whole lives wholly like surrendered to God, bring our whole selves to our marriage, our kids. And the Malachi Mandate, the Malachi 4:6 about the turning of hearts, fathers to children. The turning of Hearts, children to the Father. You can't turn your heart if you like don't fully know and trust and, not that there was a lack of trust, but like there's something about transparency that probably was the gateway to some of this closer intimacy. Would you, is there, does that resonate?
Steve Sargent: [00:31:09] Absolutely. 100%. And to be honest, one of the, one of the catalysts, one of the main catalysts was, you know, Mark and I, we started the podcast, Foxhole Symphony, a couple of years ago. And and I remember him asking me like, it's all about men in authentic community. It's about having authentic relationships, taking the masks off, getting rid of the, you know, the poser syndrome and having real relationships, being real. Especially with those closest to us. And I remember him asking me like, hey, you got, you got a story to tell. And I know your kids don't know your story. Like, are you going to be able to share openly and authentically and transparently with, not that everybody needs to know every dirty detail of our lives, that's not what I'm suggesting. But as the host of this podcast, like and I, and I was so convicted and God used that to convict me and tell me it's time like, yeah, they need more and they need to see your heart. They need, if you want this authentic relationship with your kids, you've got to pull back that curtain and show them more of who you are and more of your heart and the heart I've given you. And a lot of that was formed and shaped and transformed through the valleys and the trauma and the mistakes and the sin. So, and the failures, right. So it is, it's, it's, it's important. It's important.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:32:32] Yeah. Living in the light really.
Steve Sargent: [00:32:36] Live in the light. Yes.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:32:37] Taking parts of us that we've been just lik,. Let's hang on to that, keep it in the shadows. Let's keep that. Adam and Eve, first moment of shame of like, let's hide from God. And, of course, prayerfully, of course, get other brothers to pray for you. I mean, when there's like taking things, there's guys listening that there's things their wife, they don't know and like, that's that's limiting intimacy. There's things that, again, to kids or to brothers and there's trust to be built. It takes, you can't go zero to like to a group like there's, there's a, there's a process. But the more I hope every dad listening can just like, it is worth the work and the prayerful humble like these steps of living in the light have way more, they're explosive and they're multiply the impact and the fruit and the lives touched because it's way more than just that one on one relationship. You brought something that one person it's just stays there like it actually unlocked to you your testimony being shared now on DadAwesome and on your own podcast and beyond because, because of the freedom that your kids know the real you. I mean, not the real you, but the part of your story that has shaped who you are.
Steve Sargent: [00:33:56] Exactly, exactly. And God's part in that. Because He wants to use it all. He wants to use it all. He wants to use the mess that we've created, He'll use, you know. So, you know, again, and I think He, He has I mean, He doesn't have to, but that's the, that's the redeeming work of God in our lives, you know. And so yeah, I mean, just amazing, amazing things.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:34:19] Foxhole Symphony.
Steve Sargent: [00:34:21] Yes.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:34:22] These like, I've heard of several friends talk about these guys were in my foxhole. These guys are taking like the military, strategic, protective in a foxhole because it's protection from flying shrapnel, and then, but then pairing it with symphony. I actually don't fully understand, but I'm fascinated. I'm fascinated by it. Tell me why you paired those two words with this ministry.
Steve Sargent: [00:34:44] It's exactly what I was just talking about. It's God making beautiful music out of our mess. That's the symphony. There's this, there's this, you know, men coming together in the foxhole. There's shrapnel, there's bullets flying, there's mud, it's messy, it's dirty. It's, you know, it's, it's scary, right. There's all this adrenaline and emotion and we've got each other's backs, and we're, and, and God just makes something beautiful out of it. He takes it all and wraps it up and there's, there's just this beautiful symphony that results, but it results from the offering, from the offering, the willingness and the offering to offer that mess to God. And that's why I say He'll use it all, but we've got to offer it to Him. Otherwise it's just our mess that we hold on to, right? In isolation, in the darkness, like you said, hanging on, just gripping on to it. But when we offer it to the Lord, He makes something, you know, it's beauty from ashes, right. I mean, it's, so that's the symphony part of the foxhole.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:35:45] And we can receive love and comfort, the gift of the Holy Spirit and God's forgiveness. We can go to the beach, walk and pray and experience, experience, love, comfort and, and forgiveness. But I don't think we can be made whole and healthy and healed until, as we're invited, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. Like there's a, there's a promise attached to each other. And that's not talking to the Holy Spirit and God and Jesus like that is a two brothers. Would you agree with me on that side of the second half of healing?
Steve Sargent: [00:36:26] 100%, 100%. And it is so clear and it's so simple, but are we willing, are we willing to do it, right? Yeah. Confess, pray, be healed. Wow. It's that easy?
Jeff Zaugg: [00:36:41] Yes. What a gift. What a gift. It does take, like we've mentioned a couple of times, it takes work and it takes digging into if this is something guys listening, if this is like, there's, there's repair needed. There's, I want to live in freedom. I want to have these, these, these closer brothers that can be there when I baptize my daughters some day because they've shared in my story and my victory. I want them to pray for me, the moment I have that conversation with the teenager, this or that, I'm going to send them to your resources at Foxhole Symphony. So, they're going to be sent in your direction. You mentioned the book by Chris Bruno, Sage. Can you, any other just top of mind resources that you're like, this will help in the journey of getting to, the ministry, the retreat that you went to. What was that called? One more time.
Steve Sargent: [00:37:27] Yeah, markedmenforchrist.org. Phenomenal intensive phase one weekend That that has changed, I mean, I've had hundreds, hundreds and hundreds of men go through that weekend and the vast majority of them look back at that weekend as a mile marker that just catapulted them into authentic community. And more than that, it's about knowing why God gave you breath today. How are you uniquely gifted and potentially uniquely wounded, but how does God want to use it all? What is your unique mission? What is God calling you to and why did He give you breath today? And that's what that ministry is all about.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:38:04] Wow. So we'll link that out, resource that. Any, any other top, top resources around this topic?
Steve Sargent: [00:38:10] I don't think so. I mean, I think those are the main ones. You know, just just, just under DadAwesome. Just under DadAwesome.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:38:18] Not under, alongside. We're happy to be, we're happy to be a part of it.
Steve Sargent: [00:38:21] I know.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:38:21] The guys do know, this is about every third week we're talking about brotherhood. You can't be DadAwesome and just pursue the hearts of your kids and your wife like you have to do it with brothers. So we've, we've emphasized that so many times they're like sick of hearing me say it. But it's like, this is, this is the way to be DadAwesome. So I want to invite you, Sarge, just either if you have a last word, wonderful. Or would you just pray for all of us or both?
Steve Sargent: [00:38:46] Yeah. Yeah. No, I've said probably enough words. I would love to pray. I'd love to pray. Yeah. Thank you, brother. Well, God thank You, thank You so much for this sweet time of fellowship with my brother. And God, I pray, I pray that You would be glorified through this message that hearts would be stirred. Thank You for the ministry of DadAwesome. For every person hearing this, Lord, I pray that You would draw each of us into closer and deeper intimacy with You. Lord, I pray for our families, our marriages, Lord, for deeper intimacy there. Perhaps even through vulnerability and transparency with our wives. Sharing just a little bit more about what makes us tick and our woundedness or whatever it is, maybe it's confession with our kids, Lord. This world is crazy, Lord, But You remain on the throne. You are sovereign. Protect our kids, Lord. Help us to be the best dads we possibly can, but more than that, Lord, help us to point them towards You, the Father that we could never be to our kids. Thank You for the loving Father that You are to us. That we are adopted as Your sons. Thank you that we can call you Abba, Daddy. You are so good and faithful and gracious.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:40:15] Thank you so much for joining us for episode 349 with Steve Sargent. All of the conversation notes, the transcript, the key quotes and the links to more information, specifically to their podcast, The Foxhole Symphony, that's all going to be located at dadawesome.org/podcast. One more quick reminder of the DadAwesome Accelerator, the deadline to prayerfully apply is at the end of September. So you just have a few more days for that, just simply send an email to awesome@dadawesome.org. Also, guys just like this is so simple, sharing stories. It takes a dad to take initiative and invite some guys over for a campfire, invite some guys to go do something together, whatever the case. But just to ahead of time, reach to one of the guys and say, Hey, would you be willing to share your seven minute story? We call them seven minutes slice, just seven minutes around some of the the victories and the valleys, the peaks, the valleys, whatever want to call it. Some high points, of like these are things I'm really thankful for, they've shaped who I am, and they were victories in life. Like things that really, the day I got married or the day I became a dad or this promotion or this thing. But then here's some valleys. These valleys have shaped me. I walked through this hard thing and maybe you don't know about this because we've been friends for a while, but we haven't been invited to share. You just pinpoint some peaks and valleys of your story and then just set a seven minute timer and, and ask that friend to share. And when the timer goes off, we just say, hey, the reason we do a timer is we want to honor the group and honor you and your story. It's just a slice of your story and then pray over that Dad. Guys, by doing that simple practice, it is incredible the depth of relationship, how it accelerates. And it is a way to bring a group deeper, but also like what's shared and the victory and the I made it through the resilience, the courage, like this shapes the group and it shapes all the guys because we can learn from each other and it gives access points to go deeper into each other's stories. So, I want to encourage you guys, share stories, tee up moments of sharing stories, honor each other's stories, pray for one another and and see those victories come to the guys in your group. All right, guys, thanks for listening this week. Have an amazing week ahead. Thank you for being a DadAwesome.
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· 5:14 - "These guys [from the 12 step program] loved on me. They showed me and modeled authentic community. They discipled me. They gave me a job. They said, here's some work. Here are the stipulations, you're going to a 12 step meeting every day. You're coming to a Bible study every night, church twice on Sunday. And that was the beginning. That was the beginning when I got to understand what God intended with community and discipleship. And I've just been on fire for it and hungry for it ever since."
· 34:46 - "It's God making beautiful music out of our mess. That's the symphony. There's men coming together in the foxhole. There's shrapnel, there's bullets flying, there's mud, it's messy, it's dirty, it's scary. There's all this adrenaline and emotion and we've got each other's backs and God just makes something beautiful out of it. He takes it all and wraps it up and there's just this beautiful symphony that results from the offering, the willingness and the offering to offer that mess to God. He'll use it all, but we've got to offer it to Him. Otherwise it's just our mess that we hold on to in isolation, in darkness, just gripping on to it. But when we offer it to the Lord, He makes beauty from ashes."
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